What would you do? Keep the gifts or contact police?

I am a college professor. I graduated from Stanford, UC Davis, and went on to receive my Phd from UF at the age of 26. I am married to a wonderful man who received his Phd, and we have no children. I am in a sorority and he is in a fraternity. My life was perfect before the incident below took place.





When I came back to work from the break recently, I had a package waiting for me in the office, from an anonymous sender. Inside it contained gift certificates for (from what I've heard) are very expensive restaurants. Restaurants in San Francisco, such as "Aqua", "Jardiniere", "Benihana's", "Farallon", "Gary Danko", "Masa's" "Fleur De Lys", "Postrio's" I've never even heard of most of these restaurants before, let alone eaten at them, but I have a feeling that someone from my past sent them to me out of guilt, and there is no forwarding address, so I can't send it back.





A part of me wants to keep it, but this person that I am assuming it is, slept with my husband 3 years ago, and then turned around and lied about being pregnant with his child. She told me that she had issues because of being molested as a child, had low self esteem and that she lied about the pregnancy to get me to leave my cheating husband, because she thought I deserved better. I was furious with him and we suffered tons of backlash from their actions, but I didn't leave him. She was a girl that I was trying to mentor, and who was in my class as a communications student. Over a year's worth of time, we developed a cool bond and I don't know why she did what she did, but I forgave my husband and told her to get lost and to seek psychological help. After I found out and told her off, she called non-stop for forgiveness on and off for about a year and a half. She finally stopped for a year or so now, Suddenly I get these expensive restaurant gift certificates (no note, no forwarding address) and I mean for like $200.00-$500.00 a piece. Who else would do this and for what? I told her a while back that the least she could do, was to never contact myself or my husband again, but I guess the guilt wont let her. What would you do? Should I keep letting her send this to me or contact the police? I am a college professor and so is my husband and I don't want any negative attention for neither one of us, because of this incident. I just want to move on with my life and forget that this ever happened.|||I believe you are over imaging things, due to this past incident with this girl and your husband. Three years has passed since this happened, believe it or not all people do all move on.





If you keep bringing up this incident each time, you do receive a gift by a person. Eventually this past incident, which you want to remain discreet, will become public knowledge among persons who know you.





Also it may end, your relationship with your husband as you still have deep inner issues over this. By bring this incident up each time, whenever you are unsure about things in your life or relationship.





Normally all vouchers for meals at these restaurants have a code or a I.D number on them. Call these restaurants, and ask who purchased them for you, so you can thank them.





Who knows, your husband could have bought them, or a friend or acquaintance as a gift just to say thank you.. Maybe you won them or someone gave them to you discreetly to help you get over this incident and get you and your husband out on a date. Don't add 1+1 together with the wrong answer.





If you are feeling as they were given to you through guilt, pass them onto a friend who would appreciate them.|||I would contact the police, the girl seems unstable, the best thing you can do to help her is to not encourage her behaviour. It's a tough situation but I don't think you should keep the gift... especially because they might continue if you do.|||If you don't KNOW who they're from, go get some fancy food!! I think you're owed it....


If not, yeah, give them to someone who'll appreciate them...|||i would hold on to them for a bit and see what happens. if you contact the police there is nothing that they can actually do. they cant give her a restraining order or anything because she didn't say it was her. id give it a month and depending if u heard anything yet, i say use them. or possibly call the restaurants and see who sent them. i doubt whoever bought them paid for them in cash. if u find proof she is sending them to you, make a decision then. personally, i would mail them back to her if it is her.|||You are really a great person with strong moral character. Surely such a nice personal attribute is becasue of your extreme high educational level. There are very few people in the world how have such courageous character and can express such ideas.


I am very low in eduaction as compared to you, therefore feel hazitation to give any advice or comments or suggestions. But your ideas forced me to write a few words, which may not be meaningful or of use in your situation.


As a matter of fact your posistion and status, both are very important and have a high degree of prestigue. You need to be a roll model to your students and future generations therefore your personal behavor (as you have shown) MUST be above all such negative issues.


Since the sender havn't given address, therefore, you can't return the stuff. The other side is to inform the police. If this can affect your reputation then that sholud be avoided as well.


Is it possible to send the packet to some charity organization or some other people of that nature?|||Why would you contact the police? If you don't feel right using the gift certificates...give them away to someone who will use them.


If this person starts calling again...or bothering you or your husband...you might need a restraining order. You don't know for sure if this woman is giving these to you so this is a tough situation.


I hope it all works out for you.|||Well, if you're basing your entire believes on an assumption, which is, in this case, a lady that 'slept with you husband 3 years ago,' you don't really know for sure. Therefore, if I were you, I'd keep the gifts, but still, the choice is yours.|||Why would you contact the Police, no crime was committed?


Keep the certificates or sell them...you deserve a break. Use them to take your Husband out %26amp; strengthen your bond.








Or, maybe it wasn't from her...maybe you have another student that just thinks your great!|||id say keep them... you don't know for sure it was from her so it isn't forgiving her by keeping them and since there is no illegal activity going on just go and enjoy the gift... hell you deserve it after the situation you went through.|||I presume you have a Department Chair, and suggest you hand over the entire package to that person, along with a note (keep a copy!) that you do not know the identity of the sender and are concerned that later on the sender may appear and expect some sort of favorable treatment. This will keep you completely out of any fallout that may come later, and you will have a written record. Unsolicited and anonymous "gifts" have a way of turning into problems, and it is best to preempt them.





As to who you believe may have sent it, you have no proof, so you have no reason to go into where you "think" it came from, and I suggest you keep your mouth shut and just get on with your life, your work, and your marriage.|||How would she be able to get several thousand dollars worth of gift certificates?





If there's any possibility the gift certificates are from the girl, think I wouldn't use them. I wouldn't enjoy meals paid for by a girl who slept with my husband and helped make a mess of my marriage. You also don't know if they are stolen. You could call your local police precinct and consult with an officer, but since there's no id on the package, I don't see how you can file a complaint against the girl.





It's also possible that it wasn't her. I still wouldn't use them. But are you sure that there's not something else going on with your husband? Has he been to any of the restaurants with someone else? Did he buy them? Also sounds like someone 'paying you off' in a strange sort of way...?





For safety reasons, don't open anymore anonymous packages. Talk to your husband. Show him the gift certificates. See how he responds. If it becomes a pattern, file a complaint with the postal police in your area.





I don't see what you're academic credentials have to do with figuring out what to do. I'm wondering if you're looking for different scenarios for a novel you're writing?|||Just keep it, its her way of trying to make up to you the pain and suffering you went through during that time. Not saying a few gift certificates would make any of that up.