Thursday, February 23, 2012

What would you do? Keep the gifts or contact police?

I am a college professor. I graduated from Stanford, UC Davis, and went on to receive my Phd from UF at the age of 26. I am married to a wonderful man who received his Phd, and we have no children. I am in a sorority and he is in a fraternity. My life was perfect before the incident below took place.





When I came back to work from the break recently, I had a package waiting for me in the office, from an anonymous sender. Inside it contained gift certificates for (from what I've heard) are very expensive restaurants. Restaurants in San Francisco, such as "Aqua", "Jardiniere", "Benihana's", "Farallon", "Gary Danko", "Masa's" "Fleur De Lys", "Postrio's" I've never even heard of most of these restaurants before, let alone eaten at them, but I have a feeling that someone from my past sent them to me out of guilt, and there is no forwarding address, so I can't send it back.





A part of me wants to keep it, but this person that I am assuming it is, slept with my husband 3 years ago, and then turned around and lied about being pregnant with his child. She told me that she had issues because of being molested as a child, had low self esteem and that she lied about the pregnancy to get me to leave my cheating husband, because she thought I deserved better. I was furious with him and we suffered tons of backlash from their actions, but I didn't leave him. She was a girl that I was trying to mentor, and who was in my class as a communications student. Over a year's worth of time, we developed a cool bond and I don't know why she did what she did, but I forgave my husband and told her to get lost and to seek psychological help. After I found out and told her off, she called non-stop for forgiveness on and off for about a year and a half. She finally stopped for a year or so now, Suddenly I get these expensive restaurant gift certificates (no note, no forwarding address) and I mean for like $200.00-$500.00 a piece. Who else would do this and for what? I told her a while back that the least she could do, was to never contact myself or my husband again, but I guess the guilt wont let her. What would you do? Should I keep letting her send this to me or contact the police? I am a college professor and so is my husband and I don't want any negative attention for neither one of us, because of this incident. I just want to move on with my life and forget that this ever happened.|||Some people feel that no matter how much it is communicated to them, that grace extended for his or her pernicious actions is not accepted unless he or she does or performs some "good" act to earn the grace giver's approbation and acceptance. Plainly; they cannot accept a "free gift", as in your case, your unconditional pardon [grace] for their violation of your trust and other boundaries. ( This is what God goes through on a daily basis with a lot of people, who cannot take God at His word and accept the sacrifice for their sins by His son, Jesus. They feel that they have do something like follow some strict, ritualistic code of good behaviour to earn it.) Assuming, that this perpetrator of your trust has sent you the gift certificates to attempt to further, atone for her "sins", might I suggest that you forward them to a charity of your choice. Another scenario might be, that you have a secret admirer out there and I do not think it is Red Lobster, either.


Good luck to you Prof - life is more than education - it is also, a spiritual value system where regard for the other person is paramount; (as you already know).|||Surely Obama has a program funded by working Americans to cover your rather tedious problem? Perhaps you and hubby should both purchase chastity belts? Failing these suggestions I propose you say "Bon Apatite"


and enjoy your free meals!!!! Ciao!!!!!

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