I am a college professor. I graduated from Stanford, UC Davis, and went on to receive my Phd from UF at the age of 26. I am married to a wonderful man who received his Phd, and we have no children. I am in a sorority and he is in a fraternity. My life was perfect before the incident below took place.
When I came back to work from the break recently, I had a package waiting for me in the office, from an anonymous sender. Inside it contained gift certificates for (from what I've heard) are very expensive restaurants. Restaurants in San Francisco, such as "Aqua", "Jardiniere", "Benihana's", "Farallon", "Gary Danko", "Masa's" "Fleur De Lys", "Postrio's" I've never even heard of most of these restaurants before, let alone eaten at them, but I have a feeling that someone from my past sent them to me out of guilt, and there is no forwarding address, so I can't send it back.
A part of me wants to keep it, but this person that I am assuming it is, slept with my husband 3 years ago, and then turned around and lied about being pregnant with his child. She told me that she had issues because of being molested as a child, had low self esteem and that she lied about the pregnancy to get me to leave my cheating husband, because she thought I deserved better. I was furious with him and we suffered tons of backlash from their actions, but I didn't leave him. She was a girl that I was trying to mentor, and who was in my class as a communications student. Over a year's worth of time, we developed a cool bond and I don't know why she did what she did, but I forgave my husband and told her to get lost and to seek psychological help. After I found out and told her off, she called non-stop for forgiveness on and off for about a year and a half. She finally stopped for a year or so now, Suddenly I get these expensive restaurant gift certificates (no note, no forwarding address) and I mean for like $200.00-$500.00 a piece. Who else would do this and for what? I told her a while back that the least she could do, was to never contact myself or my husband again, but I guess the guilt wont let her. What would you do? Should I keep letting her send this to me or contact the police? I am a college professor and so is my husband and I don't want any negative attention for neither one of us, because of this incident. I just want to move on with my life and forget that this ever happened.|||There are several things I have questions about from your post.
1. I'd be concerned these were counterfeit! $200-$500 for that many restaurants? Who has that kind of money? Sounds very suspicious to me. I'd notify my office personnel (though I doubt the office would have any idea as to where it came from if it wasn't hand-delivered), the police (so they could track this or compare notes with another agency; who knows, maybe this is a recurring event where someone scams unsuspecting customers); and the restaurants themselves (someone could just be using their name as a way to scam customers into buying fake gift certificates that the restaurants themselves don't issue or receive any money for).
2. Why would she contact you with such a strange gesture, after a year of no contact?
3. What would you report to the police? Unless you can prove it was her, they can't do anything.
4. If something does recur, I'd begin keeping a log of date, time, incident, and police report.
5. If the gift certificates are by some chance valid - you could always donate them to a DV shelter, a rape crisis center, a school.... both the workers and the clients could really use them! Though I'd hesitate about donating potentially bogus gift certificates.|||Why would you contact law enforcement? What laws were broken? If you don't know positively who they're from, you can't report them for harassment or stalking.|||Obsessive people can become dangerous. You should find out who delivered it, as the poster above me suggested, and contact the police if it is whom you suspect.|||i would contact police instead of keeping it ...|||I kinda agree with Devildog. Let's say you decided to send $200 or something to your parents. Then you found out someone else had had it instead by mistake. Would you like them to keep it, or hope they would do the right thing and go report it and try to find the sender?? Now the answer for you is pretty simple now...|||First off, I wouldn't contact the police unless you have some proof that the gifts came from her. Because if you contact them with a "hunch", they'll blow you off. Did you ever ask your husband if he sent them? Have you even discussed this with your husband? But if she's calling you again, then call the police and file a complaint. And even then they only do so much. If it's bothering you that much, return the gift cards back if you don't want to use them, or send them to me.... (just kidding... maybe...) Lol... but seriously talk with your husband because if it's her doing that he might be seeing her again or she just might be a "crazy". But just be alert and aware of everything.|||First off, you should forgive her, I say that as a Christian, and from my Christian taught morals. But just because you forgive her doesn't mean you can ever trust her again. So yes, contact the police, and find out who it is, and once you know for certain, tell her you forgive her, and accept the gifts as a sign that you do forgive her, but also tell her that for your own conscience's sake, you do not want any more contact with her again. If she does contact you again, you may have to get a restraining order of some kind. The police will give her a warning, and if she does it again, you can have her arrested. Now it is very clever of her, if it is her, to send you gifts in this way. I suppose the police can do a check on credit card purchases for the said items and they could also look at the postmark, to find out from what town it was sent. On the other hand, what are you gong to do, if the gifts are from a fellow secret admirer from past years in school, or perhaps it's the professor next door to your office?
Godspeed ✞ ➦ ♔|||you don't even know if it's her sending it. stop being so assuming. it was three years ago and if the guilt had been that strong it would have been sent earlier. just keep them and be happy.|||Since there is no return address the package had to be delivered by hand by the original sender. SO someone in your office had to accept that gift. I would try to find out who delivered it. Other then that i would say take it to the police.|||it sounds like an awkward sitaution. its easy for us to feel symphathy for someone when we think theyre racked with guilt and looking for closure. but on the other hand, that case should have been closed long ago and it was expressed to her then what your stance and wishes were on the matter. for that person to resurface after so long and continue to interfere with your life isnt normal. i would snip it in the bud quickly before you find a rabbit stewing in your kitchen pot. the question is why hasnt she moved on? she needs one more firm this is where we stand from you, and if she doesnt stop a protection order. i hope you and your husband can draw closer through the problem and dissolve it.
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