Thursday, February 23, 2012

What would you do? Keep the gifts or contact police?

When I came back to work from the break recently, I had a package waiting for me in the office, from an anonymous sender. Inside it contained gift certificates for (from what I've heard) are very expensive restaurants. Restaurants in San Francisco, such as "Aqua", "Jardiniere", "Benihana's", "Farallon", "Gary Danko", "Masa's" "Fleur De Lys", "Postrio's" I've never even heard of most of these restaurants before, let alone eaten at them, but I have a feeling that someone from my past sent them to me out of guilt, and there is no forwarding address, so I can't send it back.





A part of me wants to keep it, but this person that I am assuming it is, slept with my husband 3 years ago, and then turned around and lied about being pregnant with his child. She told me that she had issues because of being molested as a child, had low self esteem and that she lied about the pregnancy to get me to leave my cheating husband, because she thought I deserved better. I was furious with him and we suffered tons of backlash from their actions, but I didn't leave him. She was a girl that I was trying to mentor, and who was in my class as a communications student. Over a year's worth of time, we developed a cool bond and I don't know why she did what she did, but I forgave my husband and told her to get lost and to seek psychological help. After I found out and told her off, she called non-stop for forgiveness on and off for about a year and a half. She finally stopped for a year or so now, Suddenly I get these expensive restaurant gift certificates (no note, no forwarding address) and I mean for like $200.00-$500.00 a piece. Who else would do this and for what? I told her a while back that the least she could do, was to never contact myself or my husband again, but I guess the guilt wont let her. What would you do? Should I keep letting her send this to me or contact the police? I am a college professor and so is my husband and I don't want any negative attention for neither one of us, because of this incident. I just want to move on with my life and forget that this ever happened.|||Whoo!! That's a lot to deal with. And I know it must be eating her up inside to know that she lost a potentially good friend and mentor. You did leave a piece of this story out though. Did she end up having the baby? If so, you've forgiven your husband for that so why wouldn't you forgive her for her wrong doing? Now, I'm not a religious freak or anything but God forgives us for our wrong doings every day. Without second guessing. So, my point is, at least forgive her. If you can do that, at least she will stop harrasing you about this. And after that you can give her the gifts back and tell her that you forgive her and there's nothing more that can be done about what happened. But, that doesn't mean that you have to be this womans friend or even communicate with her or trust her. Forgiveness is easy....Trust isn't.





Good luck with that : )|||I would accept them and use them. You deserve to do something special for yourself after everything you have been through so why not do it at the expense of someone else. Makes alot more sense that way! Hope this helps, best of luck.|||keep the cards, use them but make sure you dont tell your husband that you used them cause then hell tell her and shell think you two are okay|||you can use the cards but first let your husband see it. what if she is not the one? tell your husband about the cards and ask his suggestion and if he has any ideas who it might be. if you get in touch with the girl again, tell her you have forgiven her but that she should stop contacting you as it is best for the two of you.|||You could get in trouble for using them if you know they are from her. It is very unlikely to happen but whats spending a $250 gift certificate compared to loosing your job as a college professor.


I would at least make a report of some kind so it is documented that you received these. Documenting can make a world of a difference in a legal battle.|||It seems like all you want to do is forgive and forget, so to me it seems like you have done all you can do. If she is trying to earn your forgiveness in a way that only disrupts your life further, and you have no way to contact her to tell her how it is affecting you and that all you want her to do is leave you alone, then it is time to contact the police the next time something like this happens and you suspect it was her.|||If I were you I would just accept the gift and take your husband out for a fancy dinner. I do not believe you should call the police although she does not deserve your acceptance she is still just trying to repay you for her terrible mistake|||Can't see any benefit,in going to the police,unless you want to donate


them to the annual policeman's ball..I would surrender them,to a


marriage counselor,who maybe able to let somebody whose on the


cusp,so to speak with their marriage,a chance for a relaxed,unencumbered time out,to assist them..


I would most definitely,suggest to this person NO more please..


The very best of luck,whatever you decide..Stay well %26amp; happy..|||I think you should do both. It will hurt her feelings(if this her is the right person) if you give back the gifts and that is just rude. You should contact the police as well because you need to find out if it was her, and she seriously needs some medical help. If you keep receiving these gifts, it could lead to bad problems. She could run out on money and steal or come to you for money and won't leave you alone. If she steals, it could cause problems with the police, and she can blame what she did on you and you will be asked alot of questions. There is alot of bad things that can happen from this. I do suggest keeping the gifts though because I doubt there's refunds so there's no point of giving them back.|||Since it was sent anonymously I think you should use them because they've been paid for and the restaurants have already made their money from them. I live close to SF so if you don't want the you can send them to me!

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